colors

Little Blue Cross

I sat on the toilet staring at that little blue cross. You have got to be joking. It is April first after all. This was no joke. I was pregnant. I pictured that little blue cross jumping off the piss stick and strangling me. I wanted to die.

Red Nothing But.

I have seen red before.

Eyes glossing over and adrenaline taking control of my body and brain.

Kill or be killed.

Nothing but red.

I fought him enough to pin him down with my fist up.

Kill or be killed.

Yellow

Corn on the cob.

I have braces and he cut my corn off the cob in front of his family. He cared for me.

Green

Ireland, when he was the biggest man in the bar and defended me. He stood up to my brother and introduced me to the definition of a man.

Orange

Her orange curly hair and those size too small shoes that light up orange.

Black

The uniform pants She wore the first time I met her hung out with her and cried with her.

White

The ultrasound of Gummy Bear.

Brown

The door I slammed for the last time leaving him.

Purple

The margaritas we drank when we gave ourselves permission.