the social norm

I don’t shy away from talking about sex openly in public. The social norm is to whisper,
use euphemisms, or shy away from the topic of sex/sexual wellness altogether. I don’t whisper. I use the correct biological terminology. I ask acquaintances, friends, family,

“How’s your sexual wellness journey?”

The truth is, there is a heavy cloud of shame when our sexual wellness is discussed, arguably far more shame than when we discuss our mental health or physical wellness. People freely discuss their depression, or what they did at CrossFit that morning. However, when it comes to sexual health, it’s a shameful topic often avoided or skirted around to conform to a perceived societal normality. It’s striking to me, considering until 20 years ago, intercourse was the only way humans could come to exist.

To combat this, my plan is to discuss sex and sexual wellness more deliberately and with refined intention. Obviously, I’m aware of the appropriateness in time and place. Having such discussions around children, being crude or inappropriate, or encroaching upon anyone’s consent should be, and is, a boundary not to be provoked or disregarded. I believe there’s a difference between science and being obscene. I plan on discussing biology over sexual acts. I plan to ask more people about their sexual wellness journey. In fact, most of my friends are used to it by now. I think it’s reasonable to expect some people to be taken aback at first, with eventual curiosity. That answers my inquiries while also stimulating intellectual conversation about important aspects of one’s wellness journey. As they speak, and as I listen, I believe people will ease into the conversation with greater comfort and far less shame.