the year of the horse

When I was a kid, my favorite Pokémon was Rapidash. A horse on fire.

I would ride my bike to Spaz’s house and pretend I was Rapidash. Never riding her, always being her. Going as fast as I could down the hill to have to do less work up the hill. When I’d pass the park entrance, I’d get scared so I’d pretend my hair was the fiery mane as I galloped. Charring everything behind me. Up in powerful flames.

I’m scared of this year. I’m scared of doing this on my own, with no fire in my hair. Full speed ahead. I’m not smart enough. I’m not good enough. I have no choice but to do it.

I wish I could feel the flames as I run without worrying about 3rd degree burns. This year is demanding more of me and I’m scared of finding out I’m just a kid on a bicycle and not a horse on fire.