Head.
These memories would cut you and leave you bleeding on the floor.
Throat.
These scars would traumatize you and make you incapable of grasping reality.
Ribs.
These broken bones would tell you the story you never asked to hear.
Scars. Memories. Broken bones. Voice. Passion. Intuition.
You’re welcome for making you strong. I created the trauma you are profiting off of now. Without the cries, pain, and fear where would you be? You should be thanking me. You should be grateful I still show up in your dreams to keep you from forgetting. I’ll never let you lose your edge or passion because I’ll never leave.
Use it all. Use all those loud emotions in the quiet lonely times. It’s the only weapon I’ll ever allow you to have. It’s the weapon you’ll never get rid of. Just remember who taught you how to use it.
I thought about writing this 1 million times, but I guess since She’s making me, now is a better time than ever. (PS: you blame Her for a lot of things, so you don’t have to think about you.)
I know you’re scared, and alone, confused, and pissed. You have no idea who I am or that you’re capable of becoming me.
I’m sorry for letting this happen to you. For choosing this for you. For us. I’m sorry it got so far. I knew those choices were the wrong ones, but I ignored them. I should’ve saved you way earlier, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t fight my way out yet. I wasn’t strong enough. I need you to hold on. Hold on because I promise it’s worth it and you do make it out of this. I so badly want to pick you up and hold you and tell you about the world you eventually create. You’re loved, like real, healthy, not scared loved. Like the kind of love you’ve had to work hard for. And he’s your best friend. You laugh all the time. You have a home and it’s safe. It’s your favorite place to be. You’re close with your family again. And our friends, oh Lindsey, our friends are amazing. You help people, women like you right now. You’re funny and people like you. You’re a business owner and Lindsey you’re strong, you’re so so strong and you don’t ever question that. And girl you’re happy. Like legit happy.
It’s there and you’re gonna decide it’s yours. Just keep it together and keep your eyes open. We’re in this together.
I love you kid.
Love,
Strong Lindsey.
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