Tag: suicide

  • blooms

    You were my most stable flower. Beauty in your own right. You weren’t my person, but you were such my person that I no longer know how to do this life without you. You were my base. Mine. My stability when Gwen visited, when ghosts from the basement of my brain would darken the hallways, when the color red blinded my eyes. You were the stable brick house with the smoke coming from the chimney I could run to when running in the forest from the big bad wolves of my past. You loved me, you never said it, but you cherished me. You heard me clearer than anyone. Even when I couldn’t pay you, You still had ears. Never was it you and I against the world, it was you, me, and Little Lindsey against all the voice boxes and swinging rage. I miss you swaying in my meadow. Whenever I looked, there you were standing tall. You’re not there any more, one too many rough seasons took you away from me. Nothing left, not even petals to collect. I miss you deeply, my beautiful flower. The growth in this field may never bloom the same.

  • it’s a lot to ask.

    I know it’s your right, but please don’t leave me in this world alone.

    Please don’t leave me in this world without you.

    Please don’t leave me in a world where my abuser is still alive and you are not. Where Trump is golfing and you are gone.

    Don’t abandon me in a world where rapist walk around freely and you don’t.

    I know it’s selfish I ask, but please keep fighting your battle so that I can fight mine with you beside me.

    Please don’t leave me in a world where your smile is only a memory.

    Our last interaction wasn’t enough for me. I want more. I need more.

    Please don’t ask me to continue while waking up without you.

    I know I have no idea. I know I don’t understand. I know I can’t imagine. I know it’s not fair for me to ask this of you.

    But please. I’m asking for you to do this for me. Please don’t leave me behind in this world.